Single parent dating tips

Single parent dating tips for both
* single parents and
* those who may date you!

Are you a single parent wanting to start dating again? Or are you someone who is dating someones who is a single parent?

These tips from both sides of the fence may help you to consider the other persons feelings.

Now... you've met someone great and tell them you have children...

Does this new information change things for the new person on your life, or is dating someone with kids a challenge?

According to Atlanta psychologist Dr. Tiy-E Muhammad
"Over 60 percent of black households are headed by a single parent with more than 50 percent of this staggering number being headed by black women. There is a [high] possibility that the woman or man you meet will have at least one child," says Muhammad. "The key is finding someone who is responsible for his or her child and doesn't put an unwelcome burden on you."
He adds that one of the major challenges of dating someone with kids is having to deal with the other parent.

Having a single parent as a partner is something that Gena Banks, 35, a registered nurse from Las Vegas, would have never considered at one time. "I would prefer not to date someone with kids, but I'm becoming more open-minded," she says. "The reality is that the older you get, the greater the chances are of someone coming into your life with children. That just blocks out a whole range of possibilities when you discount someone because they have a child. Instead of judging, I could use the opportunity to see how he's treating his children. That tells a lot about what kind of person he is."

Dating someone with kids is simply a matter of compatibility and acceptance, says Chicago Minister Damascus Harris, 35. "I weighed things out. You either like a person for who they are or you don't, and you either accept the situation they have or you don't."
Harris, currently divorced, was married to a woman for over three years who had three children from a previous relationship. Now the tables have turned and Harris is the single parent in the dating game.
"I make sure that women understand that even though those are not biologically my kids, they are my children and I have a financial and emotional obligation to them. If they don't like that, the door is over there, but so far it hasn't proven to be a big issue."

Psychotherapist Julia A. Boyd of Washington suggests that single women are more likely to resist dating men with children partly because they have put off childbirth to pursue education and careers.
"Let's face it. If you're an adult, you've had a life and some of those lives include children," says Boyd. "The reality is that when you date someone who has children, you're dating someone who has responsibility.

For you, the single parent, Boyd offers the tip that when you go back on the dating scene, like Harris, be upfront with potential mates about the children you have. She adds that you, the single parent, should hold off allowing your date to meet the child until the relationship has taken a serious turn. Once this meeting has taken place, you should be adamant about staying the main disciplinarian in the child's life.

"Good parents are flexible, patient and understanding of change," stresses Boyd, "qualities considered to be assets in any healthy relationship. Having a child should not be looked at negatively nor should it hinder a parent from having fun or having a relationship."

Dr. Muhammad states, "It shouldn't matter if [the parent doing the dating] has one or a thousand kids. If your perspective mate tickles your fancy, you'll jump at the opportunity to be with him or her."

Single parent dating tips.